There are some moments in my life that I never want to forget. Some of them are still so vivid that if I close my eyes, it's as if I am looking at a picture of each moment. Some of these moments are starting to blur and become faded, and I don't want to forget them!
Some of them are completely joyful while others are immensely sad, but taught me something which I never want to forget...especially so Heavenly Father doesn't decide he needs to teach me that same lesson again. I want him to see I "got it" the first time:)
Here are a few of the sweet or funny things my kids have said or done. It makes me choke up a little just thinking about them.
I have been pretty emotional and sentimental lately. The other day, I was having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that I will never be pregnant again. Never have that cute little baby belly. Never feel the little butterfly like movements when I first feel my baby kick. Never feel that jolt in the belly, or watch a hand or foot move along my stomach. Never nurse a child to sleep. I was crying in my room and both my children seemed very concerned about this. Jackson came up to me and asked me what was wrong. I tried to explain to him that, "Mommy is sad because I can't have any more babies in my tummy." He asked me why I wanted more babies. So I told him I wanted he and Olivia to have more siblings to play with, and that Daddy and mommy want more kids to love. While giving me a big hug, he told me, "Mommy, it's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad. We should pray to God and he'll help you." At that moment, I was so proud of my son and so comforted at the same time. How is it that my 4 and 2 year olds could provide me so much comfort? A tender mercy from God. My kids are not easy, but they are precious and I am grateful every day to be their mother. I only wish they wouldn't grow so darn fast!
Another funny moment I never want to forget was when we went to meet our neighbors across the street for the first time. Olivia was a newborn and Jackson was a little over 2. Our lovely neighbors opened their door and the first thing out of Jackson's mouth was, "I'm poopy." To top that off, Olivia spit up all over their front porch. At that, we said hello, that we were the new neighbors, and that we should probably get back home. They invited us in, because that's how nice they are, but I'm sure they were glad when we declined and said another time! That was pretty awesome.
I never want to forget the moments when my kids are playing nicely with each other. Or when they are nice to others. I love hearing them preach to me (or others) the things I have been teaching them all their life. Things like, "It's okay to be sad," or "It's okay to cry." And "It's okay to be mad, but it's not okay to be mean." I got that one from my mom. Or another I love is, "We need to share because that will make Jesus happy." I love watching my kids help each other when the other gets hurt, or in trouble...I love listening to Jackson as he answers questions during FHE. He is so animated talking about his day, and remembers such little details.
These moments are the fabric of my life. They are what sustain me. They are what give me perspective. I was feeling sorry for myself for a while about my whole predicament with not being able to have more kids and I had been praying for patience with the whole adoption process, when it hit me that I need to stop looking only to the future and just be happy with the here and now, and realize how blessed I am. I know many couples who are wonderful people and haven't been able to have any children. I was fortunate to get a boy AND a girl, and they are cute kids at that...not that I'm biased or anything. So I am now just counting my blessings. AND Heavenly Father has granted me patience and perspective that things are going to turn out for my good and in His time. I know that he's aware of me and my desires and that he desires to bless me. How fortunate I am to have the gospel and to have a husband who is the most amazing man I've ever known, AND friends and family who have ALWAYS supported me in whatever I am doing. Does life get any better than this?
Some of them are completely joyful while others are immensely sad, but taught me something which I never want to forget...especially so Heavenly Father doesn't decide he needs to teach me that same lesson again. I want him to see I "got it" the first time:)
Here are a few of the sweet or funny things my kids have said or done. It makes me choke up a little just thinking about them.
I have been pretty emotional and sentimental lately. The other day, I was having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that I will never be pregnant again. Never have that cute little baby belly. Never feel the little butterfly like movements when I first feel my baby kick. Never feel that jolt in the belly, or watch a hand or foot move along my stomach. Never nurse a child to sleep. I was crying in my room and both my children seemed very concerned about this. Jackson came up to me and asked me what was wrong. I tried to explain to him that, "Mommy is sad because I can't have any more babies in my tummy." He asked me why I wanted more babies. So I told him I wanted he and Olivia to have more siblings to play with, and that Daddy and mommy want more kids to love. While giving me a big hug, he told me, "Mommy, it's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad. We should pray to God and he'll help you." At that moment, I was so proud of my son and so comforted at the same time. How is it that my 4 and 2 year olds could provide me so much comfort? A tender mercy from God. My kids are not easy, but they are precious and I am grateful every day to be their mother. I only wish they wouldn't grow so darn fast!
Recently, we were staying at my brother-in-laws home and Olivia decided to let the dog out the front door, and then chase her down the street. I didn't even know she had gotten out, but the neighbors thankfully brought Olivia back and asked if we were missing a child! Thank heavens they found her! She wasn't even phased at all. This same thing has happened to Jackson twice while visiting family. Luckily, they've been returned to us by the neighbors each time.
We have recently begun doing some yoga type stretches in the evenings occasionally when the kids are wound up. I made up one where we reach to the sky and get lots of happy energy, and then blow out all the "bad" energy. Olivia calls it "happy happy happy" and asks for it most nights. I never want to forget that face.
These moments are the fabric of my life. They are what sustain me. They are what give me perspective. I was feeling sorry for myself for a while about my whole predicament with not being able to have more kids and I had been praying for patience with the whole adoption process, when it hit me that I need to stop looking only to the future and just be happy with the here and now, and realize how blessed I am. I know many couples who are wonderful people and haven't been able to have any children. I was fortunate to get a boy AND a girl, and they are cute kids at that...not that I'm biased or anything. So I am now just counting my blessings. AND Heavenly Father has granted me patience and perspective that things are going to turn out for my good and in His time. I know that he's aware of me and my desires and that he desires to bless me. How fortunate I am to have the gospel and to have a husband who is the most amazing man I've ever known, AND friends and family who have ALWAYS supported me in whatever I am doing. Does life get any better than this?
1 comment:
I love this post. It really is amazing that our little children can bring so much comfort and perspective to US sometimes. Also, I LOVE the memory of meeting your neighbors for the first time. I think I may never forget that either (: So so so funny!!!!! You are such a sweet dear friend. Love you Jess!
Post a Comment